Treatment for depression Blog

Discussing our right to pursue happiness

One of my favorite expressions is that "you reap what you sow". While I often hear it used negatively by someone who expects some "chickens to come home to roost" I prefer to think of it as something positive. How comforting to think that all our hard work and toil will be rewarded with a crop of something good? How wonderful to think that putting love and care into some project or person will indeed be rewarded.

Of course, while most Americans give lip service to the notion of our right to pursue happiness, all too many people do not really believe it applies to them. Many people simply believe they don't deserve happiness. And even those few who do believe it seem to accept unhappiness as simple bad luck.


Every person does indeed deserve happiness and what is more happiness is contagious. The more happy people there are around then even more people will find happiness. We owe it ourselves to work on our own happiness and we owe it to society as well. Our own happiness will help others and inspire others to find happiness. If we are unhappy then we are likely making others unhappy as well (even if unintentionally) and it is extremely unlikely we are doing much to contribute to the happiness of others.

So how do you become a happy person? You simply reap your own happiness. But how? Take these four simple steps:

Step one -- Ready Yourself For Happiness

You can accomplish this step by first determining that you want to be happy. Part of being happy is wanting to be happy. Once you have committed yourself to the course of finding happiness for yourself then you must rid yourself of the notion that happiness is luck or based on possessions or persons. No thing and no one can make you happy. Happiness comes from within yourself.

Step two -- Envision Yourself As Happy

Every day when you first wake up and at various points during the day spend some time envisioning yourself as a happy person. Picture yourself laughing, smiling, relaxing. Imagine yourself as happy. The more you can fix this image of yourself as happy in your mind then the easier it will be for you to truly become happy.

Step three -- Assume You Will Be Happy

Many people tend to assume that they will spend much of their lives either unhappy or at least not really happy. However we have all seen those people who do seem to be genuinely happy with their lives. They smile frequently, laugh often, and seem to be in good humor most of the time. Yet this is not because they are richer or more successful. Sometimes these people were just born with the good fortune to have an optimistic outlook that life has not yet knocked out of them, but often these people have simply chosen that they will be happy and they recognize that there is always something about their lives that makes them happy. You know this is true of yourself as well. Concentrate on the areas of your life that give you happiness whenever you feel unhappiness seeping in and no matter what assume that you will be, you can be, a happy person.

Step four -- Pursue Your Happiness

Happiness is rarely a wonderful accident of fate. Happiness is rarely found by accident. While you may find happiness in unexpected places you must first open yourself to the possibility of happiness and prepare yourself to accept it when you find it. Some people are so miserable that they step right around happiness when they encounter. Don't let this happen to you. What is more, don't simply sit at home waiting for happiness to come knocking on your door. Go out and live life. Think about what currently makes you happy and spend time in those activities and think about what might make you happy and spend time experimenting. The more time you spend actively living your life then the more likely that you will also lead a happy life.

Remember, you deserve a happy life and you can lead a happy life, but in the end you reap what you sow. If you are sowing happiness in your life then you will reap happiness as well.

By: Deanna Mascle -

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Deanna Mascle shares more inspirational writings in her blog Words Of Inspiration at WordsOfInspirationOnline.info

Article Posted By the Webmaster Foras Aje. He invites you to visit his website for more information on the Latest Health news, Healthy Living and Lifestyle choices at http://www.bodyhealthsoul.com

posted by Foras Aje @ 5:45 AM 0 comments

If you want to be happy tomorrow...

If you want to be happy tomorrow you need to begin working at it today. Some people spend their lives waiting for happiness to arrive on its own and it never comes. Others work hard at creating wealth but still aren’t happy, discovering that money only brings a whole different set of problems. Happiness is a state of mind and not the size of your bank account. Happiness is emotional and not physical. Each individual needs to work at creating their own happiness.

I like how Richard Bach, the author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull, put it when he said, “If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.”

To find happiness you first have to understand where happiness comes from. Memories are to the mind what a mirror is to the eyes - a reflection. The mirror reflects the physical while our memories reflect the emotional. When you look in the mirror it reflects what you look like; when you look in your mind it reflects who you are. One big difference between the two is that you can change what you see in the mirror but you can’t change the memories reflected in your mind.

We tend to spend a lot of time trying to improve what we see in the mirror, but little or no effort trying to improve our thoughts. Every action creates a memory. Do you really think that the person who is bitter and angry today was happy and cheerful yesterday? If a person says or does something which angers or upsets us, we can either add to the painful memory with our own negative actions or we can replace them with positive actions and create positive memories.

If you want to be happy tomorrow you must choose carefully what you do today, because today’s actions will be reflected in tomorrow’s memories and you can not make them go away. Everything you do today will be in tomorrow’s reflection. The next time a person angers you, instead of lashing out, try imagining that you are holding up a mirror that bounces the reflection back at him, knowing that his actions or words are a reflection of him and not of you.

We all want to like what we see in the mirror. To be truly happy we also have to like what we see reflected in our minds. What the mirror reflects is not nearly as powerful as what the mind reflects, for it reflects our words and actions.

What will your reflections be filled with? Will your reflections/memories be filled with goodness and joy or with bitterness and anger? What have you done today that will bring you happiness tomorrow?

By: Gary Mosher

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Gary Mosher is co-author of the award-winning 'Buddha in the Boardroom', the business book that shows you how to excel in today's chaotic and stressful workplace environment, available from Bodhi Tree Publishing, LLC at www.bodhitreepublishing.com Visit Gary's blog to see what the judges had to say at www.buddhaintheboardroom.blogspot.com

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posted by Foras Aje @ 6:08 AM 0 comments

So You were overlooked for a promotion again

You were overlooked for a promotion again. It was no surprise. Mr. X leads a charmed life. Work is finished before deadlines. They always have enough energy to attend seminars and workshops. They work late whenever needed. They always look great, are full of energy, and happy.

It is not fair that some people are gifted – or are they? Next time the flu hits your office, look at the people who stay home and those who end up taking days home from work. There will be some startling revelations.

Statistically, the group who miss work are complainers, they are stressed, they work hard on projects but never make-the-grade. These people rarely smile. Ask what music they listen too. Is it happy, or is it hard and abrasive? Do they make friends, or hide in their cubicle?

Now, compare this to the group who remained at work and picked up the slack. There are trends here, too. These people are more likely to listen to classical music. They probably talk about things such as massage therapy, exercise, stress busters, healthy eating, and they laugh or smile – a lot.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but studies have proven that poor stress management skills, feelings of helplessness, poor eating habits, and poor social skills.

In fact, researchers have proved that stress cut years from your life.

Scientists are proving in clinical studies what traditional healers have known for centuries. The mind and body are linked, and when one is weak, the other suffers.

One field has made great strides since 1970 in understanding the connection between emotions, well-being, and immune-system function, Psychoneuroimmunology (PNI).

Then Robert Ader, Ph.D., and the department of psychiatry at the University of Rochester, New York, discovered that the immune system can be psychologically conditioned to perform a certain way. In short, you can train your immune system to create a super human body, or teach it to self-distruct.

Ader fed rats saccharine and an immunosuppressive drug that caused an upset stomach. After just one incident, the rodents avoided saccharine. The study was repeated with only saccharine, and many rats died.

Even when the drug was absent the rat’s bodies associated saccharine with the suppression of immune function. The saccrin weakened their immune systems.

Ader conditioned an immunosuppressive response. So, the brain turned a perfectly healthy food into poison. The experiment created a radical conclusion: The mind and the immune system are linked.

"There were lots of responses to our study--and some of them you can't print," Ader says today. "But our results showed you've got to deal with the whole adaptive system of the organism and not just a single element of the system."

And they changed the immune research community forever.

What does that mean for you? It reaffirms exactly what life coaches have been telling you for years. If you want to succeed then you need to change your mindset. You can train your body to accomplish more, remain healthier, manage stress better, if you change your mindset. Still not convinced?

Candace Pert, Ph.D., a scientist at Johns Hopkins University discovered receptors that allow the body to create natural opiates. That’s right. Next time you meet someone who is always on a ‘high’ – maybe they are.

By: Ethan Miller -

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Ethan Miller offers advice on improving your heath and reducing pain from his web site at www.lowcarbrescue.com He invites you to get his FREE health guide www.heartpatrol.com

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Article Posted By the Webmaster Foras Aje. He invites you to visit his website for more information on the Latest Health news, Healthy Living and Lifestyle choices at http://www.bodyhealthsoul.com

posted by Foras Aje @ 6:12 AM 0 comments

Be happy now and let the future take care of itself

Do you ever find yourself waiting for happiness to come into your life? Do you spend a lot of time anticipating exciting events in the future, but find no peace where you are now? This is the state that most of humanity lives in-- always looking to the future to provide a sense of peace and fulfillment and never experiencing happiness now.

People can live in this state of looking to the future for contentment their whole lives. But here is the fundamental flaw with this: The future doesn’t exist. Every moment you are in is NOW… have you noticed? When you think about the future, what you are actually dealing with are thoughts, images and emotions. They have nothing to do with finding true peace and happiness now. What this activity does allow is for the mind to keep permanent control of your life.

You can never be happy and free now if you are trying to live in a future to come. This leaves you in an endless cycle of looking to the future for happiness, feeling a sense of excitement over the images your mind produces and then descending back into a state suffering. If you do not experience happiness now when will you? In the future? Like I said, that’s impossible. The future is now when it comes.

What we need to see is that the only time we ever have is right now. The future only exists as thoughts in the mind. Our mind says, “Once everything is exactly how I think it should be, then I will be totally happy.” It thinks the problem is outside of itself, whereas it is actually caused by believing the untrue thoughts it creates.

We believe the mind when it tells us that we will be happy in the future. We put our trust in what the mind says the problem is. But just because the thoughts appear in your head, does that prove they are true? The mind automatically weaves stories that have no truth in reality, and when we believe these thoughts and stories, we experience suffering now. Then we look to the future and imagine a point when the suffering will no longer be there.

This is the true cause of all our problems. We believe lies and then act out what the lie tells us we need to do to be happy. The only remedy to this dreadful cycle is to see the fact that what your mind tells you is not true. When you see clearly that your thoughts and feelings lie to you on a regular basis, you will automatically stop taking them so seriously.

You will begin to know that thoughts don’t necessarily tell the truth. This allows you shift your attention from believing thoughts about the future to being present in your life now. That is where real peace and contentment lies. How could it be anywhere else? All we have is the present moment we live in now. That is the only place happiness can be found.

When we start questioning what our thinking tells us is true, more peace enters our life. This is the key that all great spiritual masters through the ages have tried to convey. Be happy now and let the future take care of itself. I highly recommend Guy Finley’s audio album, Secrets of Being Unstoppable to anyone who wishes for a life free of stress and suffering. He clearly describes why we suffer and what exactly we must do to free ourselves from it.

By: Andrew Kryzak

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Click Secrets of Being Unstoppable, by Guy Finley for a product review. Andrew is dedicated to uncovering the truth in life and has studied with various spiritual teachers and read numerous books on inner life development. Visit his website: seekingtheextraordinary.com, and sign up to receive free inner life insights.

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posted by Foras Aje @ 6:43 AM 0 comments

Just Imagine Having The Ideal Life

For most of us the finding true happiness means a search for an ideal life.

Ideal. It lives in your imagination and seeks to express itself in your life. Nurture your ideal. Let it breathe in your soul.

You can always be an idealist by believing in the plausibility and possibilities of imagination. Like John Lennon who said, "reality leaves a lot to the imagination," be a dreamer.

Imagination revealed things in various science fiction stories never existing before that are today common place. Imagination fueled the work of Albert Einstein. Imagination makes hope and faith tangible.

We can create paradise on Earth. Want to live forever? Want to never get sickness or disease? Want to eradicate poverty? We'll invent a way! For every problem there is a solution. We are inventing new things all the time, and at a more and more accelerated rate.

"If your mind can dream it and believe it, you can achieve it" is a popular saying. It reminds us that we have control and mastery. Can you dream? Can you believe? Of course we can. It's child's play!

Imagination lets you savor and have gratitude for every moment of your life and turns negatives into positives. Believing that everything happens for the greatest good makes everything an ideal situation. So you can always be in an ideal situation, thanks to your imagination.

Do you ever notice that we have a knack for creating our own truth? Do you see the truth of that situation? Ever notice how our prophecies and predictions get fulfilled? How expectations meet us at our level of expecting? Makes for good reason to expect the best!

Imagination can fill in all the places where we are lacking. So dream it to be it, that's what thoughts are for. Who could ask for more?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. All of life can be beautiful if seen through the eyes of love. Our vision, as well as all our senses, are an extension of feeling. Feel love and you have what is called the rose colored-glasses effect. Something we create for ourselves with our idealist imagination.

Love is there when one only sees perfection. In such a state, it is easy to say that love is all that matters. It is the state of mind of poets, lovers, and dreamers. They practice the art of fantasy, play, discovery, and adventure.

Happiness can be found through creative expression. That is idealism in action. Reality is never static as it is always being shaped. We need not conform to stifling rules and boundaries. We need not be boxed in by limitation. Imagination has no limitation!

Our life is a product of our imagination. Expand your perception and you'll find the world itself expands.

We are knowing and having more and more. We are also having more and more to look forward to. It is because we are growing and evolving. What will we evolve to be? Can we grow wings and fly to heaven? Or beyond?

What is ideal? We may not know yet, but will certainly come closer and closer to not only finding out, but growing into it as well. Use your imagination to think beyond the brink, feel it real, and boldly be. You will achieve the ideal.

Through our finding true happiness we can achieve our perfect life.

By: Deanna Mascle

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Learn more about the Pursuit of Happiness and Finding True Happiness at smilesbydawggone.com where you can download a free ebook about Happiness

posted by Foras Aje @ 6:34 AM 0 comments

Discover all of what you are not

Knowing your self. Being your self. Constantly returning your full attention to this so you can luxuriate in and as your self - free of perpetuating and being bound in what you are not.

Discover all of what you are not. Body, thoughts, feelings, ideas, time, space, being and not being this or that.

There is nothing concrete or abstract, external or internal, in the great "out there" or in the great "in here," that you can point to as being who you are. This mere concept or idea will not do either.

You may well repeat a mantra or formula endlessly without any result whatsoever. You must continuously watch yourself - particularly your mind - moment by moment, missing nothing. This "seeing" is essential for the realizing of who you are and of seeing what is "notyou" "notyou."

You are the one that is actually looking through your eyes right now. This one that is looking through your eyes is not a person - a Sam, Peter, Susan - and neither is it your mind, nor your body.

Your body and your mind are vehicles that you are driving around through. They are not you. You are the one that is endlessly flowing through this manifestation. It is what sustains everything everywhere. It is you. This is who you are.

You have to surrender, to let go of, to "stop and drop," what you are not, - "notyou" "notyou" - and be this one that you already are. There is no getting around this.

If you wish to be home in the heart, the hub of life, to be self, then you absolutely have no choice but to let go of what you are not. To stop clinging to what was never true of you in the first place.

If you are unwilling to "see" that you are not this chattering mind that you have taken to be your guidance in life and to surrender it every time that you "see" yourself going there again, then you will have the pleasure of remaining in this belief pattern of pain and suffering and feeling like you cannot do anything about it all - even if you are attempting to rearrange things from within this "bind" of the mind.

By: Elysha

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Elysha does not travel around giving talks or lectures. He has made Himself available to anyone who desires to www.elysha.org/self.html”> come home to the heart, from 9:30am through to 6pm seven days a week in www.elysha.org/elysha.html”> Patea New Zealand. www.elysha.org/light.html

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posted by Foras Aje @ 6:42 AM 0 comments

Play is a lubricant for aliveness and creativity.

“Man, I wish we could get rid of him. What a pain in the butt!” exclaimed the president of my burgeoning natural foods company.

“Yeah, I wish! But we can’t. He brings in too much money. The owner won’t let us fire him,” bemoaned the general manager.

Who’s that?

The head honchos were talking about me! I was the bane of their existence. In their eyes, I was worse than an annoyance. I was a curse. Their cross to bear this lifetime.

What’s Up with That?

Why did I upset them so? Simple. I had too much fun!

I reveled in fun. I propagated play. I promoted enjoyment on all levels of our organization.

As the company vice president, I offered free homemade gourmet, organic lunches so all the workers could bond by eating together every day. By request, like a radio station, I piped in everyone’s favorite music throughout the warehouse and offices. I provided free Hollywood film showings and live rock band concerts every Friday night to develop a sense of community among the workers. I arranged Non-competitive Game Days with other New Age businesses. I got the company to pay for employee hiking, canoeing, sailing and skiing excursions.

In our retail food stores, I sponsored parties almost every day. Customer Gratitude Days. Employee Appreciation Days. New Employee Celebrations. Old Employee Goodbyes. Welcome-to-Spring Bashes. Summer Flings. Winter Festivals.

A Threat to a Smooth Running Ship

What upset my bosses’ world of professional propriety was general merriment. Revelry for no reason. Play with no purpose. Amusement with no apology!

A Danger to the Bottom Line

The only weak link in their argument against fun in the workplace was that the Universe didn’t agree! A small flaw in their philosophy of business.

The World Talks Back

Yes, what really got under their skin was that all my “frivolous folly” filled the coffers. Fun attracted customers like kids to ice cream. Our retail outlets were always packed. People ordered wholesale from us because our phone people joked with them—and our delivery people came bearing smiles, laughter and free gifts.

My bosses called me shallow and silly. They warned new executives and employees to not spend much time with me or they would be “infected with idiocy.”

The Genesis of Joy

I didn’t promote fun because of any intellectual or highfalutin philosophy. I developed my approach in order to make “work” tolerable. In my first “job”—a childhood lemonade stand—I discovered I could make business fun AND profitable. I was sold on play. I was hooked on horsing around. Play equals profit in my book!

I’m Not the Only One

In today’s lingo, you could say that fun is the new Feng-shui of business. Ask Google, Inc., who provide to their employees three free meals a day, play space, office daytime volleyball games, and encourage the use of roller skates at work! Fly the joking, jovial skies of Southwest Airlines—the only airline to turn a profit every year since 9-11!

How Do Angels Fly?

How do angels fly? They take themselves lightly.

Certainly there are times when life presents major challenges and one needs to act clearly and directly, but behaving responsibly and efficiently does not preclude humor and light-heartedness.

In fact, a flexible, fluid, upbeat approach and attitude is crucial to releasing magic and miracles in any endeavor—personal or professional. Inspiration and breakthrough are often born from the spirit of playfulness and exuberance. A spontaneous wink, a funny smile, a comic gesture can unlock deep blockage and stress in any stagnate situation. Through conscious silliness, soul purpose and connection can emerge.

Science Supports Silliness

Recent research supports this thrilling thesis. Scientific studies show that fun, humor and laughter reduce stress, boost immunity, relieve pain, decrease anxiety, prevent depression, rest the brain, enhance communication, inspire creativity, bolster morale, sustain resilience, and help us keep our balance and perspective in all activities.

Doctors, nurses and attendants now use “clowning” in hospitals to stimulate the healing process with patients. Medical professionals have discovered that when patients are laughing and having fun, they experience less physical and psychological pain—and recover faster.

The same healing, transformative dynamic reigns in every realm—business, relationships, sports and spirituality. Laugh more, heal quicker, feel better, live longer—and attract more abundance in all arenas of life!

The Purpose of Life

After all, what is the true purpose of life? To learn to love more fully. What is the ultimate result of all authentic fun, laughter and play? More free flowing energy. Healing. Love.

Machines Malfunction

One of my teachers is fond of saying. “even machines malfunction in the presence of seriousness.” All human endeavors malfunction in the presence of seriousness!

Clues Abound in Our Language

The definition of seriousness in our culture is “weightiness.” And people say, “You must have appropriate gravity for the occasion.” But doesn’t gravity weigh us down? “His manner was very professional and properly sedate.” Sedate or sedated?

Play Is a Lubricant

Fun is the antidote for seriousness. Play is a lubricant for aliveness and creativity.

Yes, But …

Many people in our culture say, “Yes, but … you must have fun in a responsible way.” Yes, fun in a “responsive” way. Fun is the very essence of true responsibility—that is, appropriate responsiveness. Fun is the mutual enjoyment of the moment. The only way mutual enjoyment can be created is by being appropriately responsive to the situation and people involved.

“Your Mission, Should You Choose to Accept It”

The challenge is to know how to create enough fun whenever and wherever you can. The biggest obstacle facing most people is their attitude towards fun. Enjoyment is often seen as a secondary—or superfluous—consideration in most undertakings. And, sometimes, it’s even viewed as a hindrance! Nothing could be further from the truth of human creative dynamics.

Make enjoyment your priority in every enterprise! Fun and lightheartedness are absolutely essential for wellness, happiness and success. As unforeseen and uncontrollable events threaten to knock you off stride or isolate you from supportive resources, play keeps you open, flexible and resilient.

Fun is the attitude of willingness to find whatever joy and aliveness exists in each moment. Approaching life’s challenges with a joyful heart is the surest path to success in any venture. Fun is the best fuel for success because it’s the best food for your body, mind—and spirit!

By: Steppenwolf

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Drawing from the wisdom of native and ancient spiritual traditions, Keith Varnum shares his 30 years of practical success as an author, personal coach, acupuncturist, filmmaker, radio host, restaurateur, vision quest guide and international seminar leader with “The Dream Workshops”. Keith helps people get the love, money, and health they want with his F-r-e-e Prosperity Ezine, F-r-e-e Abundance Tape and F-r-e-e Coaching at www.TheDream.com

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posted by Foras Aje @ 9:13 PM 0 comments

Managing Emotions: Begin With Self-awareness And Self-management

"This being human is a guest-house
Every morning a new arrival."

-- From: Say I Am You, Poems of Rumi
Translated by John Moyne and Coleman Barks

I turned around in my kitchen and walked into the open dishwasher, cracking my shin on the edge of the door. Ouch!#@%*! Pain went through my body, and my anger barometer zoomed from zero to one hundred in about two seconds. It was all I could do to keep from kicking the door. Good thing – the pent up energy in my body would have torn the door off its hinges. But I caught myself and made some better choices. I quickly put ice and arnica on my shin, drank a glass of water, and took a few deep breaths. The barometer began to drop. I still hurt, but I hadn't done any damage.

Practicing aikido on the mat, I learn to first manage myself so that I can better manage the attacker. I center and extend ki (energy, life force) in order to blend with the attacker's power and direct it toward a positive outcome. Off the mat, I can do the same. In the face-off with my dishwasher, a huge emotional attack threatened. How could I blend with that?

Emotional Intelligence (EI) – a phrase made famous by Daniel Goleman, author of many books on the subject – begins with self-awareness and self-management. Goleman writes that in high emotional states, we often get "hijacked" by the power of our feelings, but we can learn to catch ourselves and direct our emotions before they direct us. Research shows that EI can be learned and that those with high EI receive higher salaries and manage teams that regularly exceed their objectives.

When you are intentional with your emotional energy, you increase your EI, improve interpersonal interactions, and lead a happier life. Here are some thoughts that might help:

Notice, acknowledge, and honor your emotions. "Wow! I'm pretty upset. Where is this upset coming from, and what do I want to do about it?"

Breathe and Center yourself. Put a moment of awareness between the event and your action. Give yourself time to notice your emotional energy and decide what to do with it.

Act Purposefully. Putting ice and arnica on my wound aligned with my purpose. Kicking the dishwasher did not.

Emotions happen. And we can make choices about how we manage them. By gaining awareness in the heat of the moment, you will become more practiced at managing all of your emotional energy with intention and purpose.

By: Judy Ringer

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Judy Ringer is the author of Unlikely Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in Daily Conflict and the award-winning e-zine, Ki Moments. Judy is a black belt in aikido and nationally known presenter, specializing in unique workshops on conflict, communication, and creating a positive work environment. She is the founder of Power & Presence Training and chief instructor of Portsmouth Aikido, Portsmouth, NH, USA. To sign up for more free tips and articles like these, visit www.JudyRinger.com

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posted by Foras Aje @ 6:09 AM 0 comments

Our thoughts operate within specific universal laws

As we go through our day to day lives, we are constantly creating. Every thought creates events or circumstances in our lives. Without thought, our ideas and intentions cannot become real. Acting as magnificent magnets, our thoughts attract other ideas, emotions, individuals and events that work together – manifesting what it is that we think, create or desire.

Our thoughts operate within specific universal laws, without which, the universe cannot maintain order. One of these universal laws, the Law of Attraction, states that ‘like attracts like’ or what we think we receive or create. Many have believed such universal constants to be metaphysical or other worldly, however, physics has proven that the Law of Attraction ideals are indeed scientific fact, and as valid as Newton’s Law of Gravity and other accepted universal laws.

If what we think attracts other thoughts, events and people into our lives, then it should be no surprise that continual negativity will bring into our lives a constant flow of disharmony. Daily worry about money will not bring more money into our lives or remove the reason for the anxiety. If all we think about is the ‘lack’ of anything, then naturally what we receive is more lack – the universe will set the events and circumstances into motion to manifest into our lives that what our minds dwell on.

How can we bring into our lives meaningful, purpose-driven circumstances that in turn manifest into the lives and happiness that we are all entitled to? The idea of attracting success and prosperity isn’t a pipe dream. We have the ability to focus our desires and thoughts into solutions rather than problems; waking every morning feeling a tremendous sense of thankfulness and gratitude for the gifts that we are given rather than creating feelings of anger and regret for what we feel we’re lacking in our lives.

We must keep in mind that whether conscious or unconscious, our thoughts and emotions determine if the Law of Attraction will work for us or against us. By understanding the nature of the Law of Attraction, and how it affects our lives, we can channel our thoughts into creating the lives that we truly deserve. Soon, what was once perceived as an obstacle will become merely a step toward what it is that we desire.

By: Sherry Frewerd

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Sherry Frewerd discovered how the Law of Attraction can work for her to create a purpose driven life. Learn how you too can create the life that you truly desire at The University of Prosperity: wahmcart.com/x.php?adminid=76&id=1197

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posted by Foras Aje @ 5:45 AM 0 comments

Healthy Grief, Unhealthy Grief

We all know that it is in one’s highest good to grieve the loss of a relationship. Healthy grief releases feelings rather than allowing them to get stuck in the body. Healthy grief allows the griever to heal the loss and move on with life.

Yet grief is not always healing. Many of us have known people who were stuck in their grief, seemingly locked into the past and unable to move forward in their lives.

What is the difference between those who feel their grief and move on and those who get stuck in it? The difference lies in what they believe they have lost. When people believe they have lost their source of love, their grief will feel unending.

Gary had been in a three-year relationship with Samantha when Samantha decided to end the relationship. Gary was devastated. In this relationship, like in his past relationships, Gary was a taker – always trying to get love but unable to give love or share love. Samantha gave him a lot of love, but she often felt very lonely with him. Gary was devastated when she left because his source of love was gone. He was not grieving the loss of Samantha as a person he loved. He was grieving the loss of her love for him. He was grieving as a lost wounded child rather than as a loving adult.

As a result, Gary became stuck in his grief. He was stuck in feeling like a victim – stuck in “poor me.” Gary had never done the inner work to develop an adult part of himself that could bring love to himself and share it with others. He felt lost, abandoned, and hurt. No matter how much he cried, no healing occurred. Because he was abandoning himself, he just continued to feel alone and despairing. Sometimes he was angry at Samantha for abandoning him and other times he was angry at himself for not being a better partner. He had many regrets that plagued him, and a constant inner refrain was, “If only I had……” “If only I had listened to her more, maybe she wouldn’t have left.” If only I had told her how beautiful she is, maybe she wouldn’t have left.”

Frank, on the other hand, was in deep grief over the death of his beloved wife, Beth. He had loved Beth with his whole heart and he missed her terribly. Yet Frank’s grief was totally different than Gary’s grief. Frank missed Beth’s laugh. He missed her joy, her caring for people, her sense of wonder. He missed her as a person, and he missed being able to share his love with her. Frank had no regrets because he had not been a taker. He had loved Beth totally and was deeply grateful for the time he had with her. But Frank was actually fine. His grief came in waves, and he cried when it came. Then it washed through and he was fine again.

Frank was fine because Beth had not been the source of his sense of self. Frank had a strong loving inner adult who was connected with a spiritual source of love and wisdom. This was his Source, not Beth. Frank was a person who took full responsibility for his own pain and joy. He had never made Beth responsible for his feelings or his wellbeing.
Because he had never abandoned himself, he could miss Beth and grieve for her without feeling abandoned, lost, victimized and alone.

Gary, on the other hand, was not fine, no matter how much sadness he released, because Samantha had been his Source of love, his Higher Power. He had handed to her the job of defining his sense of self, so when she left, all he could feel was abandoned. Gary had handed his Inner Child – his feeling self – to Samantha. He had made Samantha responsible for his feelings, so when she left, he felt like an abandoned child. His Source of love had gone away.

Because Frank knew how to love himself, he knew how to love others. Within a couple of years, Frank was in another loving relationship.

Gary found another relationship within six months of losing Samantha, and six months after that was again alone. Until Gary decides to learn to take responsibility for his own feelings and needs, he will likely continue to lose relationship after relationship, and continue to be stuck in feeling like a victim of the women in his life.

By: Margaret Paul, Ph. D.

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Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author, co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com.

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