Marriage Counseling -- Are You A Workaholic?

Marriage Counseling -- Are You A Workaholic?

By Barbara Bartlein

Justin, a thirty-five year old executive at a high-pressure investment firm works 60-70 hours per week. Even on vacation, he often slips away from the rest of the family to go on-line, check messages and answer phone calls. Until recently, he saw nothing abnormal about his behavior; in fact, everyone at his job works like that.



In the United States, we value work. Americans labor longer hours than workers in any other industrialized nation. In fact, in Western Europe, Americans are viewed as a “nation of workaholics.”



According to a 1998 study by the Families and Work Institute in New York, the average American now works 44 hours of work per week, which represents an increase of 3.5 hours since 1977. This is far more than the workers in France (39 hours per week) and Germany (40). According to a new report from the United Nations International Labor Organization (ILO), “Workers in the United States are putting in more hours than anyone else in the industrialized world.”



The ILO statistics show that in 2000, the average American worked almost one more week of work than the year before; working an average of 1,978 hours – up from 1,942 hours in 1990. Americans now work longer hours than Canadian, Japanese, or Australian workers.



What are we working for? It’s not vacations. The typical American worker has an average of two weeks of vacation as compared to four - six weeks for their European counterparts.



For happiness? According to regular surveys by the National Opinion Research Center of the University of Chicago, no more Americans report they are “very happy” now than in 1957, despite near doubling in personal consumption expenditures. Indeed, the world’s people have consumed as many goods and services since 1950 as all previous generations put together, yet report that they are not any happier.



There are many costs in working so hard. People tend to cut back on sleep and time with their families. A recent survey found that almost a third of people working more than 48 hours a week said that exhaustion was affecting married life. Nearly a third admitted that work-related tiredness was causing their sex life to suffer, and 14% reported a loss of or reduced sex drive. They also complained that long hours and overwork led to arguments and tensions at home. Two out of five people working more than 48 hours a week blamed long hours for disagreements and said they felt guilty at not pulling their weight with domestic chores.



So how do you know if your job has turned into workaholic habits? Here are some of the warning signs:



* Your home is organized just like another office.



* Colleagues describe you as hard working, needing to win, and overly committed.



* You keep “technology tethers” like cell phones, pagers and laptops with you all times, even on vacations.



* Friends either don’t call anymore, or you quickly get off the phone when they do call.



* Sleep seems like a waste of time.



* Work problems circle in your mind, even during time off.



* Work makes you happier than any other aspect of your life.



* People who love you complain about the hours you work and beg you to take some time off.



If you experience some of these warning signs on a regular basis, it may be time to

re-evaluate how you are handling work in your life. A healthy marriage takes time and commitment. Don't be so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.



About the Author: FOR MORE TIPS TO IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP, VISIT: http://www.101marriagecounseling.com
FREE E-MAIL NEWSLETTER: sign up at http://www.whydidimarryyouanyway.com Barbara Bartlein, RN, MSW, is the People Pro and a relationship expert. A clinical psychotherapist, she has worked with couples for over twenty five years. She is the author of "Why Did I Marry You Anyway? 12.5 Strategies for a Happy Marriage," which received a five star rating on Amazon. She can be reached at barb@thepeoplepro.com or visit her website at http://www.ThePeoplePro.com



Source: www.isnare.com

Article Posted by Foras Aje of Bodyhealthsoul.com. Discover proven methods of Christian Marriage Counseling tips for success today at http://www.bodyhealthsoul.com/marriage.html

The responsibility of your use of any suggestions or procedures lies not with the author, publisher or any other party affiliated with this program. This information is not intended as professional advice.

By Sadashivan Nair

Marriage is a social arrangement to allow woman and man to live together; a social acceptance and conformity to maintain sexual relation for reproduction. Social purpose of marriage is to regulate sexual relation between man and woman. This system of sexual behavior differentiates human from other species, builds sexual connection more respectable and meaningful to maintain discipline in the society. Each society has different systems of marriage in relation to its culture, yet, the objective of all is to recognize sexual conduct of partners living together. Sexual activity is the foundation of marriage and fulfillment is the tool for constant relation. Sexual craving is the attraction that drags to togetherness. Under the social system of marriage, couples achieve identity and highest respect in the society that protects their relation.



For nature sexual activity may be procreation but for human it is sexual craving, leads to seek partner for the fulfillment and marriage is the social solution. Society disallows sexual relation before marriage or extra marital affairs, reason behind this if approved there would be no difference between human and other species. Human too would act as animals for seeking partner. For animals may not be dangerous as their sexual periods are in long intervals, on the other hand human have short and frequent could lead to violent atmosphere. Social interference is to arrest such unwanted activities to store rights and peace.



Marriage is portrayed as religious and fortunate that people wait anxiously for this moment to enter married life. Celebrations and custom rituals signify the identity of being Wife / Husband and togetherness. Real life begins for both individuals when they need to share personality and sensual feelings. Sex rules in the beginning of married life for openness and understanding each other. Sex is the instrument that connects both to represent as one to make family, family becomes a fraction of the society. Sexual contentment is essential for first stage to retain married life intact. After some times of marriage sexual desire becomes part of normal routine. First stage of married life is sensitive; each partner’s endeavor is to influence own approach to create self environment in the home. This is psychological war to create own dominance, weaker one has to surrender. Man surrenders when he is economically, physically and emotionally weak. Women are more sensible, understand social pressure on women as each religion prescribes women’s role as submissive. Also as I feel man is not as keen as woman to bind self in the family. It is woman’s attempt; man sticks in the family. Woman’s desire of own family is for protection/security of own and children. Woman needs freedom but with protection and security, to an adult woman her own family is her security. Keeping “family” in the mind she sacrifices the dominance. Without woman there is no family so woman is the pillar of the family structure. In modern world woman’s rights have awakened her to educate self and economic independence. Has revolutionized the social thinking about woman, she is now more independent and self esteemed resulted many changes of married life. Both men and women have to compromise for stable family. Old system of marriage is not practical any more, both man and woman need to be familiar with each other before marriage, so can understand the personality and history can help to advance. Solutions become easier to rectify weaker points in order to consecrate family value.



• Sincerity of both the partners builds confidence in them to last relation.

• In many a cases disappointment takes place when desire exists for unreachable in any form. "Adore what you have and what is within reach".

• Sincerity of both the partners builds confidence in them to last relation.

• Sexual satisfaction is enticement to keep relation so not to hesitate. Satisfy partner in whatever painless/ non hurting manner.

• Many marital disputes are due to past sexual relations that are kept secret. When exposed becomes matter of life and death. Revelation in the beginning avoids misunderstanding.

• Compromising own ego for positive reasons builds smoothness.





Second stage of marriage is the outcome of sexual activities; a birth of new member of the family. New member draws all the attentions of family life and first stage of life becomes memories. Wife and Husband experience own image in the child that incites them to care more than self. Child’s biological appearance attracts adults to submit selves for compassion towards child is the natural instinct for safe growth. Responsibility towards growth of the new born becomes important activity. Woman’s sexual interest weakens for limited period, is natural law to pay attention for best breast feeding. Women can not avoid breast feeding as pressure builds up in breast that has to be released, relief she gets from release is pleasure for her. This natural law is to feed the child perfectly. As a father becomes more responsible towards family and child so involves more into the family affairs. His submission to the situation is to protect child from any unwanted troublesome. Second stage defines father as protector and mother as producer of future generation of own identity. Sexual activity becomes second to child’s growth, especially woman who works heavily for child’s growth. However, sexual desire is such a greed that never eliminates until reaches unsuitable age, is to add members in the family. So the second stage of marriage is giving birth and taking care of family to grow. Contribution of their role steps further towards more members and their health. Woman’s role is important as she needs to care children and diverts her attention from husband to child and house but if she goes to office her life becomes chaotic. Overburdened lady weakens her health and sexual desire, irritation and depression builds up due to weakness and intense involvement. Man on the other hand finds self in little anxiety as the approach/response is not as before. More necessities and demands of family load him if he is economically weak. On the whole life of both wife and husband is not as easy as before. The egoism and self-esteem overpowers them when feel hurt, leads to arguments. An argument is the first stage of worsening family. In a good family both realize the situation and accommodate for smooth run. Normally, this situation prompts to find ways to criticize each other makes uneasy life. The test of constructive married life begins; most educated and able people succeed this test to step towards third stage of married life, on the other hand uneducated or self-centered people face this situation as hard test and many of them fail. Those fail break up and search for new beginning or search for extra affair. Good and bad relation of wife and husband influences children too as they experience by observing. The relation becomes doubtful to them mom and pop becomes less relevant especially during puberty. This is what we observe in divorced or violent families, children too become violent and depressed. Second stage is also very difficult for egoistical issue-less couple, feeling of partner as burden or loneliness drives to extra marital affairs.



• Remember best moment enjoyed with the partner is positive signal of attraction to prolong relation.

• Anger infuriates; is fire only cool approach can extinguish.

• Extra marital life is curse to married life.

• There is no one else to come to assist if brought would worsen further. So wife and husband together need to console each other and prepare for next challenge.

• There is no house where difference of opinions are not there but adjusting, accommodating and making understand the good and bad part will help. Avoid arguments as escalates situation and never helps. Patience is water to fire.

• Sexual activities are best jokes, games, attraction, consolation, affection, rejuvenation, temporary medication from depression and etc. So of use this gifted source prepares for next challenge.

• Birth of child conveys purpose of the family so don’t delay. Child bring purpose to live. Adoption of child too serves purpose for issue-less family. Loneliness is curse can drive to wrong situation; business and involvement in daily affairs can evade this situation.



LINK to this article:

http://www.sadashivan.com/carnalattraction/id17.html



About the Author: Carnal Attraction is sense of temptation, becomes one of essential activities of life when reaching suitable period.Sexual behavior is natural instinct to seek gratification, gifted to us by nature.



Source: www.isnare.com

Article Posted by Foras Aje of Bodyhealthsoul.com. Discover proven methods of Christian Marriage Counseling tips for success today at http://www.bodyhealthsoul.com/marriage.html

The responsibility of your use of any suggestions or procedures lies not with the author, publisher or any other party affiliated with this program. This information is not intended as professional advice.

By Sarah Williams

They say that marriage is the most important decision you have to make in your whole life. Although this has been a reminder from the elders, some people do not look at it that way especially the young. Sometimes, what turns out to be the smartest decision becomes the opposite.



When a couple realizes that their marriage is going down, there’s nothing more important than saving marriage. You should talk about things that will be helpful to save your marriage. It is important for a couple to remain the same as how it used to be.



There are a lot of factors affecting marriage and it hinders having a happy, fun and enjoying life for the couples.



If a married couple is having problems, they need to do everything to save marriage especially if they have kids. This article will give you tips on how to save marriage.



First is to acknowledge the reasons for your problems. This means that both of you should accept the problem and find out how it all started. If you do not talk it over, problems will get bigger and bigger. When the problem becomes bigger, it will be hard to pull it down and talk over.



If the partners are rational, calm and reasonable, chances are they can talk it out easily. As much as possible, stay away from high temper and avoid getting into an argument when you are both not in the mood because it will just be a cat and dog fight. Sometimes, when in too much anger, people tend to say things that they don’t really have and mean to especially if both of them are emotional.



You should find a middle ground so that both of you can understand each other very well. This will set you in the mood to talk about the problem and what needs to be done and undone. The couple should agree to their decision and each one should make a promise to know better in dealing some unwanted circumstances which often leads to a serious fight.



Work as a team. Talk to each other and ask what you both need to enlighten yourself out of stress and other problems. one should support the other by means of understanding everything he or she is going through.



Each one should be open about their feelings and emotions. It is not proper to hide anger, envy and jealousy for a longer time but pour it all out one day. This often leads to misunderstandings. Try talking to each other and find out what one likes or dislikes about their behavior whether for themselves or other people.



You need to take it slowly. Do not run into conclusions which you are not sure of. Avoid the words that you want to say that you think might hurt him or her. When you take it down, you will both find it later that its not really a big problem to tackle and fight about. This will save marriage effectively.



Try to find other ways on how to enjoy and relax. When you think of saving marriage you need to take it with all your heart or else, it will not work at all. Try to find something which you have both never done before. Following these tips will help you save your marriage and last until the end.



About the Author: You Can Save Your Marriage And Secure For Yourself And Your Spouse A Great Future That Can Be Enjoyed Forever! Visit NOW for more details! Active hyperlink must remain to use this article.



Source: www.isnare.com

Article Posted by Foras Aje of Bodyhealthsoul.com. Discover proven methods of Christian Marriage Counseling tips for success today at http://www.bodyhealthsoul.com/marriage.html

The responsibility of your use of any suggestions or procedures lies not with the author, publisher or any other party affiliated with this program. This information is not intended as professional advice.

By John Sammon

Marriage and parenting are among the few highly-challenging skills for which there are no qualifications, and for which no previous experience is necessary, and for which people just assume they are doing it right, making much of it up as they go along.



Sounds like government.



No knowledge is required. Okay, you take out a meaningless marriage license, a bureaucratic scrap of paper, by paying a small fee. But nobody asks you, “are you a moron?”



“Do you have an income?”



You’re not required to pass a test, like you do to get a driver‘s license.



For example, a multiple choice test like this:



1. If your wife overcooked the spaghetti, would you?



A. Beat her.



B. Yell



C. Say, “let’s eat.”



D. All of the above.



No such test is required. Is it any wonder so many marriages fail? You don’t know what the hell you’re doing. You probably got married in the first place because you want what you thought would be some steady, great sex. But sex alone won’t keep it going, and when children show up…?



In a one-child household, there’s a real chance you’ll both spoil the kid and the child will play one parent off against the other. If that child is a girl, she may become daddy’s girl and defy her mother.



If the child is a boy, he might become a momma’s boy and compete for the mother’s attention against the father, the famous Oedipus Complex.



The father could become exiled from the wife’s attention as she dotes on the kid, or visa versa.



There are a million combinations.



Since marriage and parenting can have a profound impact on not only your life, but up to as many as eight others (if you want more kids than this you’re already insane), let’s do something similar.



Let’s fly a space ship without any knowledge of the equipment. It’s a disaster waiting to happen.



Okay, call me a negativist, a pessimist. But before you do, how many marriages last? There are some.



Okay! Here’s something nobody, no marriage counselor, no priest ever talks about….EVOLUTION. Your new spouse won’t be the person in twenty years that he or she is today. I’m not the same person today I was in 1980.



NOBODY….I MEAN NOBODY…NEVER..SITS DOWN AND TELLS THE OTHER PERSON WHAT THEY EXPECT FROM THAT PERSON FROM THE GET-GO.



And even if they did, how do you know what you’ll want in twenty years?



Couples grow apart, because they change. The dinosaurs couldn’t adapt to changing conditions. Can you?



Whatever attractions (mostly physical, sometimes money, not usually heart or character) brought you together, will have to withstand decades of shocks, family deaths, career failure, alienation, overwork, substance abuse, heath problems, and petty irritations that only grow with time.



Your husband scratches his balls, and that drives you crazy, but you didn’t know it when you married him.



I won’t try to speak for women, but let me warn you gals. Right now, your new husband thinks you’re a sexy Venus. He can’t stand to be away from you. But after you’ve had a couple kids, you will stop being the naughty, sexy vixen who drove him wild. You’ll be the mother of his children.



He’ll elevate you to sainthood.



Who wants to have sex with a saint?



This malady has killed the sex drive of lots of men, including Elvis Presley.



It is alleged that the sainthood sex killer particularly impacts men who have witnessed the birth of their child.



I liken marriage to a joint business venture between two people, full of high hopes. About the same percentage of new businesses fail as marriages. The failed businesses were entered into under-funded and without proper knowledge of the market.



The marriages failed because nobody looked at the possible warts on the other person.



“Yeah, he’s a selfish jerk, but he sure is gorgeous.”



In twenty years, he’ll likely be less gorgeous, but possibly no less a jerk.



KNOW THE PERSON YOU‘RE MARRYING!



I’ll finish with sage advice from an old lady.



“You’ll love ‘em and you’ll hate ‘em, but you better love ‘em more than you hate ‘em.”



Having said that, I wish you a happy marriage.



© Copyright 2006 by SammonSays.com



About the Author: John Sammon is the author of two books and writes a weekly humor column you may access at http://Sammonsays.com.



Source: www.isnare.com

Article Posted by Foras Aje of Bodyhealthsoul.com. Discover proven methods of Christian Marriage Counseling tips for success today at http://www.bodyhealthsoul.com/marriage.html

The responsibility of your use of any suggestions or procedures lies not with the author, publisher or any other party affiliated with this program. This information is not intended as professional advice.