Marriage Relationship In Focus - Strengthen It Today!

By Sarah Williams

Why is it that after the marriage ceremony and the honeymoon everything between the couple goes back to normal? It is like a bright light that suddenly dims.



It seems like they have dreamed and then suddenly when they open their eyes, they find themselves back into reality. They fall back to their usual routines except that they are now sort of handcuffed together.



The only problem is there is no key for such handcuff or is there?



Well, the answer lies in the couples themselves.



Beginning a life with your partner, awkward moments can be experienced especially when you already have your own children. Your attention will be focused on them. Your romance will now be set side.



For your marriage to go smoothly, the best thing to do is for both of you to look back to the very basic of your relationship. Sort out the things to maintain the marriage. You should think about the time that you realized that you love each other and let that love flow through out.



Couples have to understand the differences of the way each of them views things. It is important that couples fully support each other especially on decision-making and each has to respect one’s decision as well. Remember the pledge you once both shared on your wedding day that you would be there for each other for better or for worse.



A good communication is the foundation of a good marital relationship. If one of you committed something or said something wrong, talk about it forget your pride and simply ask for forgiveness.



It important to express what you feel. Both of you should be good listeners as well. Couples should discuss everything including rules issues, problems and even little things.



Everyday, couples should show that they care for each other. As many times as possible, tell your spouse that you love him/her.



Do little stuff to show your affection, like take him to dinner or a movie treat would be a sweet idea. It is said that little things can produce large outcomes.



It is important and essential to understand that growing the relationship is one of your major priorities. Aside from this, couples should maintain a loving relationship. Each of you must be honest, patient and loyal.



Moreover, each of you must learn to take on a responsibility. Taking responsibility extends to your feelings, thoughts, defenses, and understanding.



As the saying goes, “Marriage is not a game.” The person you will be marrying is thus someone you will be stuck with for the rest of your life. A marriage though is destined to suffer some pain and grief. This is the reason why most marriage relationships fail.



Marriage is not simply what we thought we could just come and go or do anything as we pleased or do or not do the dishes. Marriage does not work that way.



Most marriages fail mainly because of things like pride, unselfishness and self-control. Most people say that like money, pride too is a source of evil. Financial and sexual problems are only minor ones.



Marriage can either be a source of happiness or bitterness. The success o your marriage depends upon the question of to what extent are you willing to sacrifice. This is the most likely question we should ask ourselves.



About the Author: You Can Save Your Marriage And Secure For Yourself And Your Spouse A Great Future That Can Be Enjoyed Forever! Visit NOW for more details! Active hyperlink must remain to use this article.



Source: www.isnare.com

Article Posted by Foras Aje of Bodyhealthsoul.com. Discover proven methods of Christian Marriage Counseling tips for success today at http://www.bodyhealthsoul.com/marriage.html

The responsibility of your use of any suggestions or procedures lies not with the author, publisher or any other party affiliated with this program. This information is not intended as professional advice.

Equal Partners In Marriage

By Linda Clarke

“Friends, companions, and lovers … are closest to us who best understand what life means to us, who feel for us as we feel for ourselves, who are bound to us in triumph and disaster, who break the spell of our loneliness.” –Henry Alonzo Myers



Marriage is a sacred bond between man and woman, but it must be an equal partnership. Husband and wife must share in the responsibilities of the home and family, although each family is different and has extenuating circumstances. A marriage partnership should achieve equality by supporting the other. This way both may be able to have the time to work on existing or new talents.



When I married my husband, I thought life was grand and I was going to make this marriage the best marriage on earth. I wanted to make him happy and please him. As time went on, and after having my second child, I noticed I didn’t have time for myself. My responsibilities existed of cleaning the house, doing the dishes and laundry, sewing clothes, making meals, mowing the lawn, weeding, planting flowers, paying the bills, buying groceries, and taking care of my children’s needs. Whew! Just thinking about those responsibilities can make one tired.



After having children, I found little time to practice my talents or even develop any new ones. When ten o’clock p.m. came around, I was exhausted and was ready for bed. I didn’t have time to watch television or to soak in the tub and relax. So this was my daily routine. I noticed that I was losing most of the talents I had worked so hard for. When my husband came home from work, he had plenty of energy. He always found time to go fishing, practice his target shooting, and go to a Mountain Man Rendezvous dressed in his rugged regalia, with his tomahawk hanging from his weapons belt and holding his black-powder rifle in hand.



After a few years of marriage, we sat down and talked about our marriage responsibilities. My husband realized that we needed to make a change in our lives so I could work on my talents. He encouraged me to take singing lessons again and get back what I had lost. He told me that he would help by cooking in the evening when he got home from work, and if I was swamped he would even wash clothes. Soon, I found other talents I didn’t know I had. I was able to do some creative writing, do research on ancestors, and even have energy left over in the evening to do something fun with my husband. I found time to prepare a recital each year and even found time to go back to college and get my degree, which I had longed to do for so many years. I was able to feel that I was an individual with talents of my own.



Dennis Lythgoe, the author of A Marriage of Equals, said that a marriage should be 50/50 and partners should share the responsibilities of cooking, laundry, cleaning, and parental responsibilities. Dennis calls this an “equal partnership.” He said, “Sharing the load has made me a more productive person domestically. It has eased Marti’s fatigue considerably and given us a lot more time for each other. It has taught our children that men and women should spend equal time acting as parents.” (Women and the Power Within, “Equal Partners,” p. 98.)



When Dennis counseled married couples, he said, “Sharing in marriage is an inherently controversial topic among men. I often brought up the possibility of sharing to the men … I never suggested my own 50/50 arrangement but only a fraction of the load to ease the wife’s burden. In most cases, these men were not anxious to hear such suggestions. In fact, they were worried that a comfortable status quo was being invaded. When I wrote articles about sharing, I received some angry responses from men—even from colleagues who did not appreciate my introducing this concept to their wives. So I realize that women do not find it easy to convince men that this is a good idea—but in my opinion it is eminently worth doing.” (Equal Partners, p.99)



A lot of the problem is lack of communication. Most women just figure their husbands will notice how hard they are working and will want to pitch in and help. They expect their husbands to notice they have had a big day and are exhausted. But it’s not so. Husbands don’t realize all the work their wives have accomplished, but will notice the toys strewn about the floor or the dishes haven’t been done. Women should ask for help and shouldn’t expect men to just volunteer. Most husbands, because of their love for their wives, will want to help if you just communicate.



Dennis said, “Chores should be divided on the basis of who does what best. … A great way to encourage husbands to do more around the house is to list and divide chores according to interests and abilities.” (Equal Partners, p. 104)



We shouldn’t criticize how our husband helps, but allow him to do it his own way. We must give our husbands free reign in whatever they do. When my husband cooks, the kitchen looks like a disaster, but I don’t have to cook. He figures that the “dish washer” will take care of the mess. When he does the laundry, he’ll bring it upstairs and we have to get our own clothes and put them away, but the fact is I don’t have to do the laundry.



When a husband and wife communicate and work together by sharing the household responsibilities, this helps the wife to grow in other areas and to have time for herself. This gives her enough energy, physically and emotionally, to develop her talents. A woman needs to feel content in her marriage. Just remember that no two marriages are the same and can’t be compared. We should have mutual respect for one another and care about the other’s needs.



Elizabeth Barrett Browning said it best when she wrote:



Grow old along with me;

The best is yet to be.

The last of life

For which the first was made.



Copyright 2006



About the Author: Linda Weaver Clarke received her Bachelor of Arts Degree in Theatre and Music at Southern Utah University and received the Outstanding Non-Traditional Student Award for the College of Performing Arts in 2002. She is the mother of six daughters and the author of Melinda and the Wild West, a family saga, published by American Book Publishing. If you would like to know more about Linda and her novel, her web site is http://www.lindaweaverclarke.com



Source: www.isnare.com

Article Posted by Foras Aje of Bodyhealthsoul.com. Discover proven methods of Christian Marriage Counseling tips for success today at http://www.bodyhealthsoul.com/marriage.html

The responsibility of your use of any suggestions or procedures lies not with the author, publisher or any other party affiliated with this program. This information is not intended as professional advice.

Six Repair Tools For Your Marriage

By Dr Tony Fiore

Rudy and Marjorie were on the verge of divorce. Married 12 years, they had constant verbal battles ending in what therapists call call emotional disengagement— meaning that they simply ignored each other for days on end.



Emotionally, they were simmering inside and also lonely for each other, but were unable to reach out and communicate these feelings. They were in a “cold war” with both waiting for the other to make the first move to melt the icy atmosphere.



This couple suffers a common marital malady—lack of skills to repair emotional damage done to each other. According to marital research, almost all couples fight; what often separates the "masters" of marriage from the “disasters” of marriage is the ability to repair the subsequent damage.



Acquiring good repair skills gives the couple a way to recover from the mistakes they may have made. These repair skills provide a“fix” for the damage caused in attempting to communicate to each other other in a way that caused emotional hurt to one or both of them.



It is common for partners to make relationship mistakes - after all, anyone can have a bad day, be under too much stress or just use poor judgment in dealing with a situation. Rather than emotinally disengaging from each other or staying angry, try to "fix it" if you are the offender.



And if you are the receiver of the damage, your challenge is to find a way to accept your partner’s repair attempt— that is, to see your partner’s repair attempt as an effort to make things better.



REPAIR TOOL Tool #1—apologize

A simple sincere and heartfelt apology can sometimes do wonders for a relationship, especially if your partner sees you as a person who never admits they are wrong or at fault.



Say things like: "I’m sorry; I apologize;What I did was really stupid; I don’tknow what got into me."



REPAIR Tool #2—confide feelings.

Be honest and share the feelings that are underneath the anger such as fear, embarrassment, or insecurity. Your partner may respond to you quite differently if they see those other emotions, instead of just the anger.Confiding what is in your heart and in your mind can make a huge difference in promoting understanding, closeness, and intimacy.



Say things like: "I was really afraid for our daughter when I got so angry;I didn’t want to hurt you; I just lost my cool."



REPAIR TOOL #3—acknowledge partner’s point of view.

This doesn’t mean you have to agree with it; just acknowledging it can decrease tension and conflict because it shows your partner you are at least listening to them. It also demonstrates empathy—the ability to see things from their vantage point instead of only yours.



Say things like: "I can see what you mean; I never looked at it that way."



REPAIR TOOL #4—accept some ofthe responsibility for the conflict.

Very few conflicts are 100% the fault of either partner. Instead, most conflicts are like a dance with both of you making moves to contribute to the problem. Inability to accept any responsibility is a sign of defensiveness rather than the openness required for good communication.



Say things like: "I shouldn't’ have done what I did; I guess we both blew it; I can understand why you reacted to me that way."



REPAIR TOOL #5—find common ground.

Focus on the issue at hand and what you have in common rather than your differences. For instance, you might both agree that raising healthy children is a common goal even though you differ in parenting styles.



Say things like: "We seem to both have the same goal here; we don’t agree on methods but we both want the same outcome."



REPAIR TOOL #6—commit to improve behavior.

“I’m sorry” doesn’t cut it if you continually repeat the offensive behavior. Backup words with action. Show concrete evidence that you will try to change.



Say things like: "I promise to get up a half hour earlier from nowon; I’ll call if I’m going to be late; I’ll only have two drinks at the party and then stop."



About the Author: Dr Tony Fiore is a licensed psychologist and anger management trainer. His company, The Anger Coach provides classes, products and resources for adults, couples,the workplace, and professionals. He can be reached at 714-771-0378.



Source: www.isnare.com

Article Posted by Foras Aje of Bodyhealthsoul.com. Discover proven methods of Christian Marriage Counseling tips for success today at http://www.bodyhealthsoul.com/marriage.html

The responsibility of your use of any suggestions or procedures lies not with the author, publisher or any other party affiliated with this program. This information is not intended as professional advice.

Common Marriage Problems - Complacency Is Like The Plague

By Terry Ross

Complacency like many other common marriage problems is a bit like the plague. It’s catching and it spreads, you don’t hear it and you don’t see it and by the time you realise what is happening the damage is done.



Don’t ever become complacent, like everything else in life marriage has to be worked at, the relationship nurtured and your partner cared for. If you’ve fallen into the common marriage problems trap and let the rot set in but want to save your marriage my advice is to go back to basics.



It is so easy to fall into a daily routine, fuelled by responsibilities and just forget what relationships are all about. With so much to do each day, and without the need to plan to meet each other, relationships tend to be pushed to the back, treated as something that doesn’t need to be attended to and left to just bumble along.



Often we fail to make time for our partners and when we do, it’s often some stolen moments at the end of a long hard day when we lack the energy to show how much we love and appreciate each other and are just too tired to have any fun.



When spouses begin to feel neglected they often start with the subtle plea, a gentle reminder that they feel that they aren’t important any more, that they feel unloved, undervalued and that another of those common marriage problems, boredom with the daily routine has set in. And so the rot begins……



It is all too easy to brush aside their pleas, just assume that they know you love them, expect them to understand that you are tired, believe that they will understand that you don’t have the time and all too soon forget the initial signs that the marriage is in trouble.



If you continue to ignore the early unrest it can seem a clear indication to your partner that life is more important than they are. It won’t matter that you are getting stick at work or that the children need ferrying around or that other responsibilities are getting in the way, they will just see this big neon sign saying ‘you don’t love me any more’, you don’t want to save your marriage, no advice, no gentle nudge, no subtle plea is going to make a difference.



It is critical that no matter what life throws at us we show that we value our partners, and our relationships, every day of our lives. Common marriage problems such as complacency, boredom, jealousy, lack of trust and even infidelity just creep up on us, out of nowhere, and without us making an effort what we craved, what we worked for and what we have enjoyed can crumble away before our very eyes.



All it takes is those small gestures, nothing fancy, nothing time consuming, nothing expensive just small and thoughtful little gestures that show love, respect and affection for each other. An indication that we still appreciate our marriage, our relationship and the life we have together.



If you want to save your marriage, my advice is make your spouse your top priority, let them see that they are valuable and precious, and that above all they and their feelings come first.



Compliments should be regular, not a thing of the past and not something that you believe is no longer required. Make sure your spouse knows that you appreciate them, respect them, love them and admire then and above all make sure that they know that you want to be with them.



Ensure that you spend time together and relax, enjoy and appreciate each others company. Don’t loose those intimate moments no matter how hard it is. Touch hands when passing, hold hands when you walk, kiss each other hello and goodbye, make time for a cuddle every day and never loose the excitement of the fleeting glance and the odd caress. If you fail to keep that bond between you your relationship will start to slide and before you know it what was once a loving marriage will become an empty shell.



Complacency is a very true and common marriage problem, don’t assume it won’t happen to you and don’t assume that you know each other so well that you don’t need to make an effort. Some marriages take more work than others but all marriages need nurturing to survive.



About the Author: For more advice on Common Marriage Problems please visit my websites: Common Marriage Problems, Save your Marriage



Source: www.isnare.com

Article Posted by Foras Aje of Bodyhealthsoul.com. Discover proven methods of Christian Marriage Counseling tips for success today at http://www.bodyhealthsoul.com/marriage.html

The responsibility of your use of any suggestions or procedures lies not with the author, publisher or any other party affiliated with this program. This information is not intended as professional advice.

Resolving Common Marriage Problems Is All About Striking The Right Balance

By Terry Ross

One of the most amazing things about marriage is the joining of the two halves. Marriage is all about a partnership geared towards achieving the same common goal, the ability to overcome whatever life throws at you just because you are together, secure in the knowledge that your life is complete. The inability to strike the right balance in a relationship is one of those small, niggley, common marriage problems that sends a marriage off course preventing couples from experiencing the exhilarating highs of that perfect bond.



One of the great joys of marriage is the ability to work together as one, pool your strengths and support each other, without question, through the highs and lows of life. Unfortunately it is all too common in marriage that one partners needs are seen as more important as the other and just through a few small selfish, often unwitting, acts the relationship is sent off balance and other common marriage problems arise.



Generally it is the weaker partner that suffers, with then giving in to the others needs, just thinking that it doesn’t really matter this once. The trouble is that it never is just this once. The stronger partner gets used to doing things their way and the just this once turns into a continuous pattern which spirals out of control resulting in a one sided and imbalanced relationship.



How often do you see partners assume roles based on gender? But why, in this modern society when both partners are working and the chores have to get done at the end of the day do we still continue down the path that tasks should be split according to gender? So many husbands refuse to help with the household chores claiming they are a woman’s work. I know many men that believe that it is their right to enjoy themselves at the end of the day without having to get embroiled in chores but what about their wives? Do they honestly think that most women enjoy having to come home to cooking, cleaning and ironing, not on your life!!



For a marriage to succeed in this modern society partners need to be flexible, unselfish and conscious of each others needs. Strong marriages are built on trust, communication and the combining of resources. Both partners bring a certain uniqueness to the relationship, their own individual strengths and failings that are combined and used for the greater good of the marriage. Both should contribute equally, in their own way, share the ups and the downs.



When one partner fails to contribute, thinks of their own needs ahead of those of their family, a relationship will start to fail. An imbalance, which is an all too common marriage problem, will occur with one partner feel isolated, unappreciated and ignored.



The aim of any marriage is for both partners to get what they want out of life, achieve fulfilment, be able to work towards their dreams and do it all knowing their partner is happy and fulfilled in their own right. Life changes, dreams change and peoples need change. The secret of a perfect marriage is learning to be flexible, tackling marriage problems together, respecting each others needs and knowing when and how to change.

Don’t let all too common marriage problems put an end to your marriage, learn to communicate, learn to be flexible and learn the art of give and take and above all else work towards both partners goals.



About the Author: If you like the article please visit my websites: Common Marriage Problems : Save your Marriage



Source: www.isnare.com

Article Posted by Foras Aje of Bodyhealthsoul.com. Discover proven methods of Christian Marriage Counseling tips for success today at http://www.bodyhealthsoul.com/marriage.html

The responsibility of your use of any suggestions or procedures lies not with the author, publisher or any other party affiliated with this program. This information is not intended as professional advice.

Effective Ways To Save Marriage Starting Now!

By Sarah Williams

They say that marriage is the most important decision you have to make in your whole life. Although this has been a reminder from the elders, some people do not look at it that way especially the young. Sometimes, what turns out to be the smartest decision becomes the opposite.



When a couple realizes that their marriage is going down, there’s nothing more important than saving marriage. You should talk about things that will be helpful to save your marriage. It is important for a couple to remain the same as how it used to be.



There are a lot of factors affecting marriage and it hinders having a happy, fun and enjoying life for the couples.



If a married couple is having problems, they need to do everything to save marriage especially if they have kids. This article will give you tips on how to save marriage.



First is to acknowledge the reasons for your problems. This means that both of you should accept the problem and find out how it all started. If you do not talk it over, problems will get bigger and bigger. When the problem becomes bigger, it will be hard to pull it down and talk over.



If the partners are rational, calm and reasonable, chances are they can talk it out easily. As much as possible, stay away from high temper and avoid getting into an argument when you are both not in the mood because it will just be a cat and dog fight. Sometimes, when in too much anger, people tend to say things that they don’t really have and mean to especially if both of them are emotional.



You should find a middle ground so that both of you can understand each other very well. This will set you in the mood to talk about the problem and what needs to be done and undone. The couple should agree to their decision and each one should make a promise to know better in dealing some unwanted circumstances which often leads to a serious fight.



Work as a team. Talk to each other and ask what you both need to enlighten yourself out of stress and other problems. one should support the other by means of understanding everything he or she is going through.



Each one should be open about their feelings and emotions. It is not proper to hide anger, envy and jealousy for a longer time but pour it all out one day. This often leads to misunderstandings. Try talking to each other and find out what one likes or dislikes about their behavior whether for themselves or other people.



You need to take it slowly. Do not run into conclusions which you are not sure of. Avoid the words that you want to say that you think might hurt him or her. When you take it down, you will both find it later that its not really a big problem to tackle and fight about. This will save marriage effectively.



Try to find other ways on how to enjoy and relax. When you think of saving marriage you need to take it with all your heart or else, it will not work at all. Try to find something which you have both never done before. Following these tips will help you save your marriage and last until the end.



About the Author: You Can Save Your Marriage And Secure For Yourself And Your Spouse A Great Future That Can Be Enjoyed Forever! Visit NOW for more details! Active hyperlink must remain to use this article.



Source: www.isnare.com

Article Posted by Foras Aje of Bodyhealthsoul.com. Discover proven methods of Christian Marriage Counseling tips for success today at http://www.bodyhealthsoul.com/marriage.html

The responsibility of your use of any suggestions or procedures lies not with the author, publisher or any other party affiliated with this program. This information is not intended as professional advice.

Harmonious Relationship With Marriage And Family Counselling - You Can Do It!

By Sarah Williams

With many marriages that end up with divorce, there is a great need for troubled couples to undergo marriage counselling even prior to the plan of holding the wedding.



Study shows that in some way, the counselling experience takes a vital part in the relationship of the couples as well as in raising their own family.



Counseling services is rendered to people who want to seek for advices about the major concerns and even problems that they will probably encounter in the duration of their marriage.



There are times that actual counselling is better than just reading counselling books because you can get to talk with the counsellors personally. They can also provide you with practical pointers on handling situations with your partner.



Sad to say, majority of the couples wait for quite long time before they undergo basic marriage counselling. Most of them seek for the help of the counsellors only if they are on the actual problem already. Supposedly, marriage counseling should be done before the marriage.



Counseling can save marriages and provide the couples enough space to explore themselves and the possible conflicts that they will encounter. It can also end up in arriving at a new understanding that will lead to a harmonious relationship.



Rearing of children has also become a part of marriage counselling. Since the very essence of getting married is to propagate. Thus, all the factors that deal on the family is already included in marriage counselling.



In finding for the best marriage and family counsellors, you can follow the following pointers.



· Establish the issues within yourselves first why you are seeking for the help of the marriage counsellors.



This is very important for you to communicate with your therapist or counsellor properly. It is not good that when you are in front of them, that is the only time that you think of the things that you are about to consult the counsellor.



As much as possible, the counselor should be familiar about the issue you are about to raise beforehand.



· Choose a marriage counsellor whom you are most comfortable to work with, whether a male or a female counsellor.



This will help you to narrate and share everything that you need to say with your guidance counsellor.



· Find for counsellors that have academic degree.

The credentials that they possess differ. This will also aid you in determining the credibility of your marriage counsellor.



Usually, those with the highest degree are also the most dependable ones because they already pass through several learning about their course.



· Referral from your relatives and friends can also help.

In fact, they are the most probable resources that you can ask regarding the best marriage and family counsellors because more or less, they have experience working with them.



· You can research in the web.

Some counselors post information about themselves. You can do the research about them and make an evaluation whether they pass your own set of criteria.



Make the relationship of your future family a harmonious one. This will not only deal about you or your partner but also the rearing of your child. With counselling, you can make a right choice!



About the Author: You Can Save Your Marriage And Secure For Yourself And Your Spouse A Great Future That Can Be Enjoyed Forever! Visit NOW for more details! Active hyperlink must remain to use this article.



Source: www.isnare.com

Article Posted by Foras Aje of Bodyhealthsoul.com. Discover proven methods of Christian Marriage Counseling tips for success today at http://www.bodyhealthsoul.com/marriage.html

The responsibility of your use of any suggestions or procedures lies not with the author, publisher or any other party affiliated with this program. This information is not intended as professional advice.

How To Find A Good Marriage Counselor And Save Your Marriage.

By Sarah Williams

Have you ever stayed awake all nightlong thinking about whether your marriage will last or not?



Troubled marriage represents different kind of emotions. Hurt feelings are the most common but it can lead to depression, panic, paranoia, and anger. These emotions can be distracting to your goal of creating romantic love and finally bringing it all in ruins. For this part, it can take you to painful experiences you can never accept at all.



This kind of situation can make your mind go nuts thinking how can you possibly save it in due time. Marriage in trouble is very depressing thinking what went wrong. It makes you realize what is happening, although you are expecting that all is well despite some differences.



Likewise, in marriage you just knew that it’s not going to be a perfect one. You just do what you think is right but still some are not quite enough. But then you think it’s not a problem at all, because you expect in marriage that it’s a process of accepting, learning and most of all loving despite of weaknesses.



FINDING A GOOD MARRIAGE COUNSELOR



In dealing troubled marriage, you can approach marriage counselors although you better find a good one. A good marriage counselor helps couple to guide through emotional distresses, motivating the feelings and discussing some sort of tips to excite the couple. Counselors guide couples in understanding the enormous stress in facing one of their greatest crises to date. For instance, when one or both spouses become emotionally upset, a counselor must have the skill in treating emotional reactions effectively.



A good counselor must know how to calm down the couple and assuring them that it’s not a sign of hopeless incompatibility. Counselors sometimes obtain special training for many common marital problems, such as sexual differences in which this is one of the reasons why couples disintegrate- like having an affair. Also, financial conflicts can be a deciding factor in which one of the couple is not financially stable.



By finding your preferred marriage counselor, there are many ways of discovering them. You can ask from your friends but its better if some of them have been seen a counselor that has successfully guided them. Also, you can find counselors in your phone directory or yellow pages where some of their offices and contact numbers are stated.



Regardless of your source of referral, you should be certain in choosing someone who can really help you. Always remember that a counselor is who can help your relationship for you and your partner. If possible, it’s much better if your partner is an active participant in treatment sessions.



By calling counselors at their offices, you can call one clinic at a time. Ask their respective assistants to speak to the counselor you are considering by phone. When you are about to speak some questions after your introductions and purpose, you can ask these following questions:



• How many years have you been a counselor?

• What are your credentials (e.g. academic and master’s degree)?

• Do you help clients in overcoming and avoiding emotional letdowns?

• Do you help in motivating the clients to finish the program successfully?

• Do you suggest different approach in dealing solutions in any kind of marital situations?

• How much does it cost for every session or for the whole duration of the program?



You can add other relevant questions as long as the marriage counselor knows what type of marital problem you have. Finally, for choosing your preferred marriage counselor you should let him/her know that you come for help in restoring and saving love to your marriage. Because in marriage, it’s the most beautiful thing ever to happen in your life.



About the Author: You Can Save Your Marriage And Secure For Yourself And Your Spouse A Great Future That Can Be Enjoyed Forever! Visit NOW for more details! Active hyperlink must remain to use this article.



Source: www.isnare.com

Article Posted by Foras Aje of Bodyhealthsoul.com. Discover proven methods of Christian Marriage Counseling tips for success today at http://www.bodyhealthsoul.com/marriage.html

The responsibility of your use of any suggestions or procedures lies not with the author, publisher or any other party affiliated with this program. This information is not intended as professional advice.

Six Repair Tools For Your Marriage

By Dr Tony Fiore

Rudy and Marjorie were on the verge of divorce. Married 12 years, they had constant verbal battles ending in what therapists call call emotional disengagement— meaning that they simply ignored each other for days on end.



Emotionally, they were simmering inside and also lonely for each other, but were unable to reach out and communicate these feelings. They were in a “cold war” with both waiting for the other to make the first move to melt the icy atmosphere.



This couple suffers a common marital malady—lack of skills to repair emotional damage done to each other. According to marital research, almost all couples fight; what often separates the "masters" of marriage from the “disasters” of marriage is the ability to repair the subsequent damage.



Acquiring good repair skills gives the couple a way to recover from the mistakes they may have made. These repair skills provide a“fix” for the damage caused in attempting to communicate to each other other in a way that caused emotional hurt to one or both of them.



It is common for partners to make relationship mistakes - after all, anyone can have a bad day, be under too much stress or just use poor judgment in dealing with a situation. Rather than emotinally disengaging from each other or staying angry, try to "fix it" if you are the offender.



And if you are the receiver of the damage, your challenge is to find a way to accept your partner’s repair attempt— that is, to see your partner’s repair attempt as an effort to make things better.



REPAIR TOOL Tool #1—apologize

A simple sincere and heartfelt apology can sometimes do wonders for a relationship, especially if your partner sees you as a person who never admits they are wrong or at fault.



Say things like: "I’m sorry; I apologize;What I did was really stupid; I don’tknow what got into me."



REPAIR Tool #2—confide feelings.

Be honest and share the feelings that are underneath the anger such as fear, embarrassment, or insecurity. Your partner may respond to you quite differently if they see those other emotions, instead of just the anger.Confiding what is in your heart and in your mind can make a huge difference in promoting understanding, closeness, and intimacy.



Say things like: "I was really afraid for our daughter when I got so angry;I didn’t want to hurt you; I just lost my cool."



REPAIR TOOL #3—acknowledge partner’s point of view.

This doesn’t mean you have to agree with it; just acknowledging it can decrease tension and conflict because it shows your partner you are at least listening to them. It also demonstrates empathy—the ability to see things from their vantage point instead of only yours.



Say things like: "I can see what you mean; I never looked at it that way."



REPAIR TOOL #4—accept some ofthe responsibility for the conflict.

Very few conflicts are 100% the fault of either partner. Instead, most conflicts are like a dance with both of you making moves to contribute to the problem. Inability to accept any responsibility is a sign of defensiveness rather than the openness required for good communication.



Say things like: "I shouldn't’ have done what I did; I guess we both blew it; I can understand why you reacted to me that way."



REPAIR TOOL #5—find common ground.

Focus on the issue at hand and what you have in common rather than your differences. For instance, you might both agree that raising healthy children is a common goal even though you differ in parenting styles.



Say things like: "We seem to both have the same goal here; we don’t agree on methods but we both want the same outcome."



REPAIR TOOL #6—commit to improve behavior.

“I’m sorry” doesn’t cut it if you continually repeat the offensive behavior. Backup words with action. Show concrete evidence that you will try to change.



Say things like: "I promise to get up a half hour earlier from nowon; I’ll call if I’m going to be late; I’ll only have two drinks at the party and then stop."



About the Author: Dr Tony Fiore is a licensed psychologist and anger management trainer. His company, The Anger Coach provides classes, products and resources for adults, couples,the workplace, and professionals. He can be reached at 714-771-0378.



Source: www.isnare.com

Article Posted by Foras Aje of Bodyhealthsoul.com. Discover proven methods of Christian Marriage Counseling tips for success today at http://www.bodyhealthsoul.com/marriage.html

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