Beauty... And Then What?

Welcome to 2007; the time when more people than ever, with absolutely no medical conditions or sicknesses, are taking themselves off to the operating theatres of the world and paying rich surgeons a fortune to be sliced, diced, nipped, tucked, sucked, stretched and implanted.
To be beautiful.
Hot.
Or more attractive, at the very least.
New and improved.
Popular.
Noticed.
A surgical path to happiness.

Perhaps we should forget the wrinkles around our eyes and get the doctor to take a look at our brain while we're on the table?

Somehow, on some level, some people (okay, many) have bought into the disturbing belief that if they have less wrinkles, less sag, more perk, less fat and skin and perhaps a different nose, they will be happier and more fulfilled.
Their life will be better.

They must have (bought into it)... otherwise, why would they risk there life (all surgery is a calculated risk) and pay a fortune to do it? People who are already in debt are so desperate to be 'enhanced' that they are taking out more loans to undergo cosmetic surgery.

Somewhere along the line they (we) have been programmed to believe that:

Certain physical appearance = Attractiveness = Desirability = Happiness.

We bought into the lie.
How do we un-learn this crap when we live in a society which constantly screams at us that beauty equals success?
See any movie, watch any TV show, read any magazine; it's all about being gorgeous.
At all costs.

Even the TV show 'Ugly Betty' is all about the unlikely situation of a less-than-glamorous girl with eyebrows like a muppet trying to survive in the beautiful, bitchy, glam world of the fashion magazine. And while many viewers identify with the character and feel for her (perhaps because they see some of themselves in Betty).... and want to give her a big old hug, I haven't spoken to anyone who actually wants to look like her.

While on one level the show is seemingly all about seeing the underdog overcome adversity in a pretentious world (yay), on another level it teaches us that the ugly girl will struggle, will get the dorky ugly boyfriend and will have to work harder than the pretty girls to achieve the same outcome... and she will be ridiculed and disadvataged because she's not pretty enough (boo).
If it were true that beauty equated to success, then surely all models and Hollywood Hotties would be universally happy, fulfilled, balanced and emotionally healthy little campers; clearly this is not the situation.
In fact, they would be the happiest.... because they are the most beautiful.
Apparently.

One of the challenges of my job (my company facilitates over 1,500 Personal Training sessions every week) is to help people (who are going through physical changes) keep perspective... that is, not throwing all of their eggs in the 'physical' basket while simultaneously neglecting their psychological, emotional and spiritual selves.
Some people are surprised that an exercise scientist (a bloke who owns a couple of gyms) would spend more time working with people on the head and heart stuff than he would, the physical.

I do this because I know that (long-term) satisfaction, happiness, fulfilment and joy never comes from the physical (it can be part of, but never the total solution). I understand that appearance (beauty) has very little to do with long-term 'success'. In fact I don't really care too much about my clients appearance... but I do care about how they feel and function; their overall health.
While I do care about their cholesterol, their blood sugar, their body-fat levels, their posture, their diet and their cardio-vascular health (the physical stuff)... I care more that they understand that, while it's great to be in shape and look good... our body isn't who we are.. it's just where we live.

Sorry if I'm gettin' a little weird on you but I think that most of us agree that we are complex, multi-dimensional, psychological, emotional and spiritual beings who roam this big blue ball for eighty years or so in this physical body... and then once we die we... okay, that's another post!

So when our body becomes our identity (and it does for many people) then we're in trouble.
When our confidence, our self-esteem and our emotional state (and happiness) are dependant on our weight, our wrinkle factor or some other physical variable... then we're on a path to misery, frustration and desperation... and I have seen many (attractive) people become more and more preoccupied with, and miserable about, their appearance over time than you could imagine.

If I had ten bucks for every time someone told me:

"If only I could lose.... kilos (pounds) I'll be happy."

"If only I could lose just five more, then I'd be okay."

I'd be loaded!

The problem is that they lose the weight, get the nose job, get the fat sucked... and they're really happy.
For five minutes.
Then they wake up one day (not long after) and realise that all of those issues... are still there. And all of a sudden they understand the futility of trying to address internal issues with an external solution.

I spent years as a young bodybuilder trying to achieve physical perfection (or as best I could with my genetics) because I had some stupid belief (on some level) that if only I looked like some kinda cartoon character; got my arms and back big enough, my waist small enough, my shoulders wide enough and my body-fat low enough... life would be great, girls would dig me, blokes would respect me... and I would be happy.

I did (get the body) and I wasn't (happy).

A big wake-up call was had by the bloke with the veins and biceps... and a life-long exploration into 'real success' and 'real beauty' began.

By: Craig Harper

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Craig Harper (B.Ex.Sci.) is an Australian motivational speaker, qualified exercise scientist, author, columnist, radio presenter, television host and owner of one of the largest personal training centres in the world. He can be heard weekly on Australian Radio SEN 1116 and GOLD FM and appears on Australian television on Channel 31's 'Living Life Now' and Network Ten's '9AM'.

Motivational Speaker - Craig Harper

I wasn’t excited about becoming a stay-at-home mom

Okay, I admit it, I wasn’t excited about becoming a stay-at-home mom. I was working as a part-time dental hygienist and had the right combination of work and home time. My husband and I had just barely decided that I would follow a dream to go onto dental school versus having a third child (which was something I felt in my heart—but NOT our budget!) when the pregnancy test came up positive! Surprise, surprise!

The fact that we were going to have three children, two of which would need daycare and our oldest just about to start kindergarten in Catholic school, meant that it wasn’t financially worthwhile for me to continue working my current schedule. In addition, it was overwhelming and nearly impossible to figure out how we would cover school holidays, vacation, snow days, and half days. We decided I would work a very limited schedule but basically become a stay-at-home mom.

I think the hardest thing about becoming a stay-at-home mom was having a feeling that I was not contributing financially to our home. Yes, I was working and bringing in a paycheck, but the $20,000 drop in my income stung. I also went from chatting with eight to ten people per day who had shared so much of my adult life (I had practiced nearly full-time for almost 10 years at that point), to being home with a 3-year-old and a newborn.

I stressed about finances, until I discovered a great online community, and they turned me on to an equally great book, “The Complete Tightwad Gazette” by Amy Dcyzyan. Both of these finds totally changed my attitude about how I contributed to the overall finances of our home!

Amy D. (as she’s affectionately referred to by many of my forum members) showed me how to calculate my wage for every job I did at home. When I realized how much money I was saving by doing my “job” at home, I began to see the “wage” I was making! This concept increased my job satisfaction, tremendously! (Yes, I consider being a mom a job!) I know it’s easy to say that we’re paid in hugs and kisses, but unfortunately, those don’t help the bottom line of our budget. By putting a value on the things I did at home, I finally felt as thought I was helping that bottom line! As a quick example, I can make homemade chocolate chip granola bars for about $1 at home, and a batch has twice as many granola bars as the store-brand bars you can buy on sale for $2.50! So, by spending 15 minutes making those bars, I save $5! That’s an hourly wage of $20! Not to mention, my boys usually help me, so it doubles as quality time as well! (Did I mention you can bring your kids to work with you ALL of the time as a stay-at-home parent?)

I know as a SAHP that I say that I get paid in hugs and kisses. Now that the boys are in school more and I’m alone more, I begin to wonder about the bottom line again, and then I start to think about the “value” of being home. How much more would it cost me to work OUTSIDE the home? It’s nice to be able to place that dollar value on all those things we do as a SAHP and make a more informed decision. Personally, I’ve figured out that it’s worth it for me to be home more, so I’d better get busy making another batch of granola bars!

By: Tammy Paquin

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Tammy Paquin is a work from home mom of 3 boys. She is the publisher of Frugal-Families, a site devoted to frugality, budgeting, families and helping everyone stretch their hard-earned dollars. For other great articles on saving money, family finances and increasing your value as a SAHP go to http:www.frugal-families.com

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Showing Others You Are Happy Can Have A Catching Effect

We have all heard laugh and the world laughs with you. Well it’s true. The more you are happy and content the more others will be too. You will be surprised at how you can start a whole office of people off on the right foot by being in a good and great mood.

It doesn’t take much to be happy. Put your unhappy problems in to perspective. Take a breath and learn to deal with unhappy processes. By working at being happy on an everyday basis you will find that you yourself will be in a better mood. Others will start to notice and then bam someone else has the happiness!

The rat race we all lead sometimes it’s hard to put things in order. Take time of your day to deal with these items. Deal with only a few at a time this way you can still manage to be in a happy mood. Remember you can be happy dealing with unhappy event. Most times when you deal like this with an unhappy event before it’s over and you say to yourself gee that wasn’t too bad. Hey you made it through

Allowing yourself to me more of a happy person you most likely avoid being depressed. Remember others; if you are a manager of an office and you are depressed then others start this feeling. They too now are grumps, but if you have a happier disposition then others are sure to follow.

By: Michele Rogers

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Author is Michele Rogers, owner of www.lilyputts.com Lilyputts Gift Baskets , an online gift basket retailer. Also hosted is a www.lilyputts.blogspot.com BLOG that reviews gifts and welcomes other comments as well. Please visit Lilyputts Gift Baskets for descriptions and product presentations. Please, if you use any portion herein be sure to email author first.

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Stress is the biggest culprit that keeps us from enjoying our lives

Stress is the biggest culprit that keeps us from enjoying our lives. However, that doesn’t have to be the case even if you have a stressful life. There are many ways for stress relief that will help you relax and enjoy life. Humor is a great stress reliever that does wonders for your mental health. The following stress relief tips will really help you find peace while enjoying life.

Humor
Humor is a great stress reliever and just laughing out loud can make you feel more relaxed and happier. Any kind of humor will do and make you feel better. Jokes, comedies, caricatures, seeing a comedian, or just going out for dinner with funny friends is a great way to increase your mental health and to reduce stress. You might not believe it at first, but give it a try and you will see that when you laugh you feel much better!

Exercise
Exercise is a wonderful way to relieve stress and improve your mental health as well. When you are stressed it can be very difficult to live life, but exercise can help. Find a block of time, perhaps half an hour or more, and start walking, running, taking an aerobics class, or engaging in any form of exercise you enjoy. Exercise will stimulate endorphins, which will help erase your stress and make you feel better. So, whatever exercise you can muster get out and do it. You will find that you feel much better and will feel the stress just melting away.

Nutrition
Another important way to get stress relief is to eat properly. When you have good nutrition your body will be well prepared to handle extra stress. When you don’t eat well then your body gets run down quicker and you will find yourself at risk for illness. So do your very best to eat vegetables, lean meats, and drink plenty of water each day. When you have a healthy body then you will be able to combat stress.

These are just a few tips that will help you relieve your stress and start enjoying life again. Even if you don’t believe they will work just give them a try. You will find that in a week or two you will start feeling significantly better and will be better able to handle your stress.

By: Natalie Aranda

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Natalie Aranda writes about self improvement and health. Humor is a great stress reliever and just laughing out loud can make you feel more relaxed and happier. Any kind of humor will do and make you feel better. Jokes, comedies, caricatures, seeing a comedian, or just going out for dinner with funny friends is a great way to increase your mental health and to reduce stress.

Should you make the switch to all-natural make-up?

Should you make the switch to all-natural make-up? There are plenty of companies, advertisements, and “experts” who could probably give you a very convincing argument either way. Dr. Roberta Palestine, who did her residency at the Mayo Clinic in dermatology stated, “Natural isn’t always better. Synthetic isn’t necessarily worse. Poison Ivy is natural, but that certainly doesn’t make it good…a chemical is a chemical, what matters is your skin type.” There are certainly a lot of skin types out there, and you can bet for every type there’s a number of make-up products for that particular kind.

Women who suffer from allergies and have been limited on their choices in make-up now have more options as more companies come out with products that are gentle on the skin and hypoallergenic. It should be noted that “hypoallergenic” has no medical definition, as it is yet to be determined what ingredients reduce allergens. So are natural make-up products all that they are cracked-up to be? A quick look at the ingredients list will tell the consumer what the main ingredients are on a product because they are listed in order of volume ratio. Often times, the ingredients will be listed on the packaging the make-up came in.

Often women will be allergic to a product and not even realize it. Over the years, women get used to dry, irritated skin that comes from repeated use of the kinds of make-up they wear out in public and to work. Women who wear a foundation make-up to even out the skin tone on their faces will dry out and aggravate their skin so each day is a little worse. Women with sensitive skin should avoid products with fragrances, mineral oil, formaldehyde, and alcohol. These chemicals will all dry out the skin and cause irritation.

When switching make-ups often times the skin will have to undergo an adjustment period. So women who are thinking about switching to natural cosmetics should go with it 100%. By doing this, the skin only has to go through the adjustment phase one time. If you are thinking about making the switch, it is important to consider the ingredients in a product that claims to be all natural. Do some research before trying out a new make-up line to see if it is a reputable company that uses quality ingredients and stands behind the products they produce. So should you make the switch? It’s a matter of personal choice but if you think the products you currently use are affecting your skin, at least consider it.

By: Micheal Usry

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Michael Usry is the author of the online instructional articles "Beauty and Health in Plain English" and a top affiliate of skin care one of the premier women's health websites.

claiming responsibility for your life and magnificence

As humans, we are all magnificent by nature. We possess the ability to overcome obstacles, achieve meaningful accomplishments, honor our most important values, attain happiness and contribute our special, unique gifts to others. In short, we can take responsibility for making our lives work optimally. Unfortunately, through the course of experiencing life’s challenges, we often lose sight of these facts. From birth and continuing throughout our lifetimes, we encounter countless experiences that can either enhance our self-esteem or erode it, and thus bring us levels of low self-esteem. The process of diminishing our self-esteem begins with a simple observation that we somehow do not measure up. We judge ourselves as different and deficient in some way. We decide that we don’t belong. From this point, our lives unfold in accordance with our expectations. These expectations directly relate to how we feel about ourselves. Either we are worthy of all the good things life can offer or we deserve pain and suffering because we lack value.

When we judge ourselves harshly, we dramatically diminish our ability to merit love and achieve the success and abundance the world reserves for those most valuable. When we base our actions upon the belief that we lack what it takes to deserve rich relationships, material wealth and happiness, we trigger those very things we fear most: As our self-esteem insidiously continues to diminish, we find ourselves incapable of directing our lives and fortunes productively. Resignation sets in like dry rot, killing our spirits. This ensures that deeming ourselves as undeserving will viciously cycle into results consistent with this expectation and reinforces our sense of worthlessness. The lower our self-esteem drops, the less likely we are to act in a way that will generate positive feedback to elevate our deteriorating self-worth.

For most human beings, for a certain time after birth, life is good. Our parents meet our every need while providing us with the love and security we come to depend upon to develop into self-assured, well-adjusted individuals. Early in life, we learn to attach a value to the identity we create for ourselves. In this book, we will explore in detail how something happens during this process of self-discovery, sometime between birth and adolescence, to have us begin the process of judging ourselves harshly whether an event occurs or someone makes a remark, somehow we decide that we do not measure up in some way. This psychological trauma or series of traumas can range in severity from an abusive experience to a simple misinterpretation. For some, it may involve sexual or physical abuse or the experience of being abandoned or terrorized. It may start with a simple spanking or be as extreme as a beating. Something happens that plants the idea that they are not worth loving. The event need not look severely traumatic to anyone else. To be damaging, it just needs to disturb the inner peace and identity of the person experiencing it.

In any event, the result is the same. We start to compare our essential self to others and to feel bad about who we are in that comparison. This negative self-opinion begins distorting our relationship to others. Seeing ourselves as inadequate, we now respond differently to daily situations. Our results match our distorted self-image and low levels of self-esteem ensue. This reinforces our feelings of unworthiness by providing us with concrete evidence to justify them. In short, we have created a self-fulfilling prophecy. The label we affix to describe our condition further compounds our feeling of inadequacy. Our self-esteem suffers more so. Before we know it, we have built into our lives as fact that we are not good enough and are surely unworthy of love, abundance and happiness.

This self-judgment brings with it enormous pain. Because our inherent human nature has us instinctively seek out pleasure and avoid pain, we alter our behavior in an effort to avoid further rejection. Barraging our internal conversations with constant criticisms and dire warnings, we protect ourselves from potentially painful relationships and avoid communication, interaction and risk. We give up on our dreams and lower our expectations for fear of being hurt. We settle for less and then justify our actions to protect us from further harm. Resignation and the slow, subtle death of our spirit, with the resulting loss of vitality, inevitably result from our worsening self-opinion.

Low self-esteem can pervasively infiltrate every aspect of life or it can be limited to particular situations or circumstances. The latter occurs when you determine that you are inadequate in some domains but not others. Perhaps, you might feel good about who you are in business matters but suffer a poor physical self-image, thinking you are unattractive. Maybe you realize you excel in sports, but you have little self-confidence socially. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, areas where we feel confident and others where we feel lacking what it takes to fit in and do well. This limited type of diminished self-esteem, relegated to one or a few specific arenas, can be much more easily managed and addressed. In contrast, the all-encompassing loss of self-esteem where we feel unworthy of happiness and not good enough to compare with others in most areas of life is much more devastating.

This pervasive loss of self-esteem and the resultant feelings of low self-esteem can become a rapidly progressing self-fulfilling prophecy. We compare ourselves to others and find countless ways that we don’t measure up. As we judge ourselves to be inferior, we blame ourselves for everything that goes wrong. We strive harder and harder for perfection, but can’t shake the destructive feeling that everything we do is inadequate. We constantly amplify our weaknesses and label ourselves as stupid, ugly, a failure, hopeless and unlovable. Our smallest mistake or oversight gets magnified in our eyes to the point where we lose faith in our abilities to communicate, relate and perform effectively. We fall into the trap of thinking that the entire world sees us as being as pathetic as we see ourselves. This has us misinterpret people’s generally harmless words and actions, thinking that they’re pointing out how pitiable we really are. We consistently overreact to situations and statements because everything feels like a personal attack on our inadequacies. Others then perceive us as strange and notice that our energy is off. Their reaction reinforces our fears. We damage our relationships and alienate ourselves further. This proves us right about how we saw ourselves in the first place and further erodes our ability to connect with others. The more the self-sabotage occurs, the less able we are to interact effectively.

Don’t lose hope. We can reverse the downward spiral of progressively diminishing self-esteem that causes us to have low self-esteem. By identifying how we have lost confidence in ourselves, we can stop the erosion of our self-image. Doing so will allow us to focus on restoring the magnificence that is our true intrinsic nature. Restoring confidence in ourselves and in our ability to achieve happiness and fulfillment and tap into the world’s abundance will soon follow. Let’s start with a clear look at how we lose self-esteem, and then, more importantly, let’s work to restore it and step into the magnificence that is our birthright.

The path to reversing low self-esteem is to recognize the painful past and leave it behind, to effectively manage negative self-talk and to deliberately design a future that is consistent with the person you have decided to be, a person you can be proud to know and love. We will expose the human mechanisms that kill our spirits as we provide a proven process for reclaiming personal power and passion for life. By providing you with the tools to reinvent who you perceive yourself to be, you will be empowered to impact others.

Suffering is always optional. By claiming responsibility for your life and magnificence, you will no longer be at the mercy of whatever obstacles cross your path. You will grow daily in the confidence that you possess the ability to impact others with newfound direction and purpose.

By: John Bauer

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Are you Thrilled? Claim a free Self-Esteem Boosting Gift Right Now! www.TheSelfEsteemSystem.com/article1 .

At home, you can easily find ways to exercise more

It is recommended that adults get at least 30 minutes of exercise on most, if not all, days of the week to ensure their weight is maintained and to reduce the risk of chronic health problems such as cardiovascular disease and diabetes mellitus. Regardless of whether you currently lead a sedentary lifestyle, or whether you are already active, it is easy to incorporate more exercise into your day.

For Those Who Are Sedentary

If you current do the minimum amount of exercise needed to get through your day, then it is easy to add in some incidental activities that will boost your health and fitness. Walking as much as possible is a great way to start. If your job requires you to sit for most of the day, try to get up and walk around as much as possible. Stand up and walk to the printer, or walk down the hallway to speak to your colleague, instead of calling them or emailing them. Use a bathroom that is on another floor and take the stairs, or walk a couple of flights of stairs instead of catching the elevator.

At home, you can easily find ways to exercise more. Throw away your remote control! That way, when you need to change channels, you will have to walk to the television to do so. Use ad breaks as a chance to squeeze in some push-ups, sit-ups or to walk around the house a few times. If you have an upstairs bathroom, use it each time you need to go, instead of using a more convenient downstairs bathroom. Stairs are great for your muscles and for your heart!

Getting enthusiastic about cleaning is also another great way to exercise more. Instead of lamely pushing around a broom or vacuum cleaner, put some heart and soul into your cleaning and start to sweat! Work your muscles as you clean your windows and hang out your clothes. Try to use your appliances less in the garden – use a push mower instead of a ride-on mower, or use a rake instead of a leaf blower. Washing your car with a bucket and sponge is not only a great way to save water, but it’s also another way to work up a sweat and do some incidental exercise.

By: Gabriel Adams -

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